My First Crossover (Not Again)
by Black Metalgarurumon
Summary: Ken, Izzy and Yolei (Digimon) help me write a Crossover. It's silly and features a crossover between American Psycho and ST: Voyager. *WARNING* Contains death of all of Voyager and swearing!


Body

**~Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, American Psycho or ST: Voyager. They are copyright of their respective owners. All said lets begin. INS means instructions.~**

**Davis was sitting in the front room, waiting for everyone (this room will now be called the fic room). I walked in, with a box and a big cheesy grin.**

**"What you done now?" He asked me "And whats with the box? Unless it can't be... YOU HAVEN'T!?"**

**"That's right" I chuckled "I bought another..... INSTRUCTIONS SET! MUAHAHAH!"**

**"Oh great now he's evil, Veemon! Quick get in here and help me!" Davis screamed in terror. The blue digimon stuck his head around the door**

**"Yep, Davish?"**

**"He's bought another instructions set! DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!"**

**Veemon armour digivolve to............. Flamedramon, the fire of courage!**

**"Davis, aren't you forgetting something?" I asked him and I snapped my fingers. Flamedramon disppeared.**

**"HOW??!"**

**"Easy, I'm the author!" (****_fourth wall breaks, Flamedramon is behind there_****) "Oops"**

**As Davis runs to help the armour digimon, I run in the opposite direction, out of the door. I arrive at Yolei's apartment, to find Ken and Izzy there as well. **

**"HELP! DAVIS IS GONNA KILL ME!"**

**"Ummm, why?" They ask me, they're gonna regret that. As I hold up the box, their faces change to absolute horror.**

**"My First Crossover Fic" Izzy looked at me "What you gonna crossover? Digimon and pokemon?"**

**"Right, on the digimon part, but not pokemon"**

**"Well, what then?" Yolei asked**

**"I dunno lets have a look!" I chirped at them**

**"How do I have the feeling I'm gonna regret this later?" Ken asks**

**"Coz you are. A simple answer!" I tell Ken "Here we go"**

**I tear into the box like a kid on Christmas day. To find...... A piece of paper!**

**Ken: ****_(sarcastically)_**** Great, the invention of the century!**

**Me:****_ (sarcastically)_**** No, that's the pen!**

**Izzy: I think you'll find it's the theory of special relativity!**

**Yolei: And I think you'll find that's LAST century!**

**Me: Great, Izzy's trying to outsmart Ken!, Anyway....**

**INS: Congratulations on.....**

**Me: Lets skip that crap, only stupid people read that.. (****_fast-forwards INS_****)**

**Ken: Like Izzy**

**Izzy: Yeah, like Izz...... Wait no!**

**Ken: Hehehe works like it does on Davis!**

**INS: Anyway, here we go!**

**Me: (****_singing_****) Hey Boy!**

**Yolei: Don't start the Chemical Brothers songs going....**

**Me: Why not? What's wrong with the Chemical Brothers?**

**Yolei: Just get on with it!**

**INS: 1. First choose your crossover series. Easy ones are Digimon/Pokemon, FF7/FF8, and DBZ/Sailor Moon! Of course the challenge lies in the harder ones!**

**Ken: Let's see...... Friends/Star Wars!**

**Izzy: FF7/Gran Turismo?**

**Yolei: That's just silly, Izzy!**

**Izzy: ^_^**

**Yolei: What? Shut up fool! I GOT IT A-team/Pokemon**

**Izzy: (****_Mr T Voice_****) I'm throw that Ash sucka to spiceworld fool!**

**Ken: I think thats been done already....**

**Izzy/Yolei: Ahhhhhh crap!**

**Me: Ummm.... I got one! American Psycho/ST: Voyager!**

**Rest: WHAT!?!**

**Me: Well, I was thinking.... No-one likes Neelix right?**

**Rest: (****_nods_****)**

**Me: And I place Patrick Bateman on Voyager and......**

**Ken: I think we get it.... It involves gratitious want-on violence correct?**

**Me: (****_nods_****)**

**Izzy: And it involves Neelix getting slaughtered right?**

**Me: Perhaps that annoying Ensign Kim as well**

**Yolei: Can't you kill them on Earth?**

**Me: More deadily things on Voyager, see!**

**INS: 2. Ok got your crossover, then begin! Remember Character In Character! Good Luck!**

**Me: WHAT!?! THATS IT!!!!!!! I PAID £19.99 FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Yolei: (****_nervously_****) Calm down umm....**

**Me: I give them American Psycho.......... More like British Psycho!**

**Rest: -_-**

**Me: I gonna rip Neelix in two!**

**Ken: You or Patrick Bateman?**

**Me: Both of us!**

**Ken: Nevermind....... What's this?**

**(****_piece of paper says PTO_****)**

**Ken: Please turn over?**

**(****_turns over paper, Its says 'GOT YOU HAHAHAHAH IZZY!_****')**

**Ken: Izzy, thats........ Sad**

**Izzy: ^_^**

**Yolei: What's with that cheesy grin anyway?**

**Izzy: ^_^**

**Yolei: That's it! (****_punches Izzy in the face_****)**

**Izzy: Ouch.... -_^**

**Me: Is that when you have one eye closed due to being smacked in the face?**

**Izzy: (****_holding eye_****) Yep!**

**Me: Lets begin our crossover**

**Story: Ensign Patrick Bateman, Stardate 123456. I have had enough of this shitty ship. It's shit. I can't take it anymore. Of course to the captain, I'm a well-mannered, promotion-seeking ensign. I feel like walking into the mess-hall and shoving a phaser-rifle up Neelix's....**

**Yolei: DON'T GO THERE!**

**Me: Why? We want Neelix to die, correct?**

**Yolei: Oh yes of course (****_slaps forehead_****)**

**Story: Nose**

**Me: See, no need to worry**

**Story: Jefferies Tube 134, Deck 9. I'm fixing a broken plasma coupling.**

**Me: Sounds cool doesn't it?**

**Izzy: It would be better if it was.**

**Ken: ****cough*****TREKKIE****cough******

**Yolei: (****_giggles_****)**

**Izzy: I AM NOT A TREKKIE!**

**Me: Fooled me**

**Story: I was doing good until that useless prick, ensign Kim appeared.**

**Izzy: (****_Kim_****) I got him captain, sorry I've just lost him again**

**Yolei: (****_Janeway_****) Harry, goto the holodeck and kill yourself!**

**Izzy: (****_Kim_****) Yes, Sir..**

**Ken: Wait a sec, didn't you say you were gonna cross Digimon and something?**

**Me: Yeah, but it's easier to take the piss out of Voyager, besides I have an evil crossover with digimon planned!**

**Rest: (****_sweatdrop_****)**

**Story: "Hey Patrick, did any help?" The smart ass asked, the last time mind you "Sure Harry, can you reach in and modify the plasma cooling outlet"**

**Ken: (****_sarcastically_****) Oh no what's he gonna do?**

**Izzy: Umm. Kill him?**

**Me: Izzy, ever heard of sarcasm?**

**Ken: I'm.. hurt**

**Yolei: (****_eagerly_****) I'm here Ken-chan!**

**Izzy: Grrr**

**Story: As he put his head into the vent, I deactivated the safety system, releasing highly caustic plasma vapour into the vent. Kim's head began to vapourise leaving a decapitated body in the tube. Blood began squirting all over the tube.**

**Ken: Great, that'll be a pain in the arse to clean**

**Story: I couldn't leave the body in the tube so it when to the vapour as well, then I sealed the leak and placed a force field around it. Everyone was better of with it.**

**Yolei: Hooray!**

**Story: I've had it with this ship or shit though. I'm gonna kill everyone! **

**Ken: With my "SELF INSERTION SUPERWEAPON!"**

**Me: In this case a "DEATH CANNON!"**

**Story: I went to cargo bay 4, Weapons storage.**

**Izzy: That's actually on deck**

**Me: I don't care where it is!**

**Ken: Like I said earlier ***cough*** TREKKIE***cough*****

**Story: Then I stole the new prototype weapon, the plasma rifle. "Maximum carnage, low weight" I walked around killing little arseholes until I reached the turbolift. "Ten forward"**

**Yolei: Here we go! The death of Neelix!**

**Rest: (****_cheers_****)**

**Story: As I walked into ten forward, I opened fire on any crew in there, killing them. One blast hit that stupid Kling-on bitch, ripping her in half.**

**Izzy: I'm sure that the Federation would never build such a weapon.**

**Me: Well I ain't the Federation, boy.**

**Story: After I killed the rest, I found that bumbling fool, Neelix.**

**Me: Let the good times roll!**

**Story: "Well, well Neelix what poison are you cooking now?" Silence "Well? Why don't you taste it?" I picked him up and put his head into the boiling hot pot. After I lifted it, his face was scarred. I picked up a sharp butchers knife and stick it into his forehead. Blood sprayed everywhere. The most annoying bastard ever, was dead. I fired the plasma rifle at him just to make sure. His brain hit the ceiling while the rest of him just blew up all over the room.**

**Ken: My god**

**Yolei: Bit graphic isn't it?**

**Me: I'm bloodthirsty, what can you say?**

**Izzy: (****_dribbling_****) MORE DEATH!**

**Yolei: izzy? (****_silence_****)**

**Yolei: Izzy?! (****_more silence_****)**

**Yolei: KOUSHIRO!**

**Izzy: Sorry, my bad**

**Yolei: (****_folds arms_****) Hmph!**

**Story: I found another turbolift and took it to the bridge. I was gonna show the captain who was boss.**

**Ken: More deaths coming up Izzy!**

**Story: "Patrick what are you doing?!" The next ten minutes was a bloodbath as a tore through body after body, exploding them into pieces. The bridge was no longer a dull grey but a brilliant blood red with pieces of skull and brain scattered across it. I decided to purify the ship of evil.**

**Izzy: (****_psychotic_****) MORE DEATH!**

**Story: After hunting down everyone on the ship, I returned to the bridge. "Computer, state current command" "Captain Patrick Bateman, Number of crew: One" This made him happy, now to destroy the last thing left, the ship.**

**Ken: Awww how sad**

**Story: "Computer, deactivate the safety measures on the warp core" "Warning, this is not recommended" "Do it!" The ship then exploded, killing Patrick as well. THE END**

**Yolei: Oh my god, That was.**

**Izzy: Shit?**

**Yolei: Yep..**

**Me: No fair! It's not my fault!**

**Voice: OH YES IT IS!**

**Me: Ffffffflamedramon! RUN!**

**Flamedramon: COME BACK HERE!**

**Davis: Where did that asshole go?!**

**Rest: (****_point in opposite direction_****)**

**Davis: Thanks guys! LETS GO FLAMEDRAMON!**

**~Well whatcha think? If it's bad, then say so with a reason please. No flames as they are just childish and pointless. I don't learn nout from them. Sorry to all Neelix, Kim and Torres fans, but I think they are just the weakest characters in Voyager. Also thanks again to Hikari T. for the idea of the Digimon Announcer!~**

**Digimon Announcer: Will Flamedramon catch Black Metalgarurumon? Will Black Metalgarurumon ever write anything decent? Find out next time on Digimon, Digital Monsters!**

**Me: WAIT A MINUTE!**

**Flamedramon: What?**

**Me: 1. I'm the author!**

**Flamedramon: Oh shit.**

**Me: 2. I'm a Metalgarurumon and that means I'm a MEGA!**

**Flamedramon: (****_runs_****)**

**Me: COME BACK HERE!**


End file.
